with your own penis?
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So many bounce houses so little time
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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