so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
