After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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