She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
