I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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