Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
