I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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