Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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