he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
