We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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