i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
