help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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