Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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