i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Ladies don't puke and tell
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize