we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
