So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
