I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
