I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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