I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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