Dual....:-)
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
