K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
