Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
