So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
