i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
