I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
