therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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