I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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