I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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