he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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