He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
