How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
