woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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