im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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