So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Houston, we have a blender
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
