Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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