Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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