I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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