Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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