i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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