..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
