Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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