I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
