Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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