How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
