dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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