Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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