If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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