you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
