I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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