Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
