I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
