Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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