whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
