READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it was like his penis was on wheels.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
