that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
