Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
