I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize