I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
