before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize