did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she woke up with a sticky ear
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
