lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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