You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
