If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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