Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
