It's like God shit irony all over that family
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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