is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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