but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
