I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize