those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
