no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He? As in you personified your dick?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I party with great urgency now.
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