Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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