i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
MIDGETS
????
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
