i think my tv is drunk
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My dick has a subreddit
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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